FUNNY STORIES ABOUT HAM RADIO, POST THEM!

[W4FJF]

I actually heard a new ham state that "there must be too much squelch out there today, I can't hear you too well". I couldn't key the mic because I was laughing so hard. He sounded quite serious about it, too.

[W0LPQ]

It is only going to get better. Heard a guy on 40M (another on 75 and one on 17) who told his contact that if I turned my amp off, he would not be able to hear him very well...! Gee, never knew that if I turned my amp off (don't have one anyway) that my receive would go down..! Sigh..!

By the way, the incident on 40M happened some 15 years ago.

73

Bill, W0LPQ

[VE2AMN]

After the local repeater had finished id`ing, I heard a guy tell the machine that cw was not allowed on 2 meters!
No joke!

73, de Gilles, VE2AMN

[G3RZP]

Many years ago, I jokingly told a guy on 80m that conditions were so bad that even the crystal calibrator was fading. He went to great lengths to explain why it couldn't.....

On one occasion, the XYL was operating mobile on 2 meters. Some guy asked if she had 70cms, and she told him 'No, because you have to drive three times as fast if you operate on that band'. He fell for it..........

[k3ich]

One "Newbie" comment I've heard on two meters when signals aren't quite perfect: "You're full quieting, except for the noise.....!
This isn't so much a story as an observation (maybe bringing up a problem with our educational system as well).
Have you seen the ads for "Duel-Band" radios? I'm always tempted to ask: "Which band won???"
They usually include a "Manuel" as well. Does he do windows?
And doesn't it feel like finger nails on the chaulk board to see "Hammerlund" or "Hallicrafter" ??
Now I know spell-check wouldn't catch those, but Jeeez, at least use it to check for obvious screw-ups and typos.
It hardly instills confidence in the equipment if a lister can't even master simple English grammar.
Of course, I've had my share of gaffs to, so maybe I shouldn't "throw stones" etc.

73' Charlie k3ICH

[G3RZP]

Not quite ham radio, but one place I worked at, I told the technician testing SSB transmitters to make sure he put the crystal filter in the PC Board the right way round, as otherwise he'd get the wrong sideband out. I was more than a bit surprised when he believed me......

[k4kk]

....
Of course, I've had my share of gaffs to, so maybe I shouldn't "throw stones" etc.

73' Charlie k3ICH

I have several gaffs, too. They are the long poles with large pointed hooks used for landing offshore fish. They are also found as blades attached to fighting roosters. When one makes mistakes or blunders, they are said to have made a GAFFE. You were right about throwing stones!

[N5JFJ]

Okay Fellers...Bear with me on this one! A great friend and Ham, who I shall call "Mack"... went to visit at a fellow Hams home, who at that time, was working on a very POTENT amplifier. The Top of the Amp was removed, and High Voltage safety had been tricked, so that he could Service this Amp. Well being so proud of the repairs made on the amp, the friend "Lit it Off" to show Mack... His fine, accomplishment. Before a word could be said, and in a split second, Mack had reached with a pointing finger... into the top of the Amplifier to ask "what is that?" There was an AWESOME BLUE Flaming, ARC which found it's way into Mack's unsuspecting finger, that lit up the room! Mack stiffened up, making several Girations and some physical actions that are hard to describe! "Praise God" Mack...was OK, and basically came through this hardly scratched...The next Ham Fest we had I saw Mack across the room and shouted out that would he come over here, we have an Amp that we needed him, to test the High Voltage power supply...Wow, Mack didnt laugh, nor did he come look at that Amp! Thank God, this story ended happily, without injury (Except Pride) but...For those "Green Hams" that aren't sure about what this or that...Is? Remember...Dont stick your Finger in it...To find out! &3's and Merry Christmas DE N5JFJ